Einmal ist keinmal is a German phrase that means what happens but once might as well not have happened at all or to put simply, that once is never. It reminds me of of New Years eve when we’re feeling more retrospective than usual. By looking beyond each significant event of the past year as more than separate experiences, we’ll see there’s a underlying trend that links everything together. These events may have happened just once, but collectively they continuously shape the person who’s writing the review. That person, he or she, me — we recur eternally. It’s a great way to see who we’re becoming, still are or want to be, and understand why he or she is or is not happy.
It was Steve Jobs who said we can only connect the dots looking back.
2008 –A series of life changing moments.
2009–Meeting people who have made a great impact
2010— Putting myself out there and not giving a f*ck
2011– Trusting myself and living simply
I went through a rough time in 2011. Many of the events that happened were very real and personal. Unlike previous years that were marked by great adventures from trips, career opportunities and new people, 2011 was stripped down of excess and distractions. I was vulnerable, but I was also strong. I made sacrifices and I stood by them.
After spending so much time alone I better see the blurry distinction between what I want, what I think I want and what people expect me to want. For a yes-person like myself, this year learning how to say no has given perspective on what and who is worth saying yes to and how to stand my ground. If I can’t have everything then at least what I have should always mean something to me.
Thank you to those who stood by me, understood me, challenged me, inspired me, kept me grounded, stayed even if I pushed them away, made me laugh, and made me cry. For the good times and the bad, I am a better person because of you. You know who you are. Cheers to 2012!
TRIPS & EVENTS
1. Climbing Mt. Pico De Loro
Last January I joined an over night open climb with the Loyola Mountaineers to Pico de Loro. It was an awesome way to start the new year. I’m looking forward to doing this again!
2. Ateneo de Bora with ILTGN
While this was my nth time in Boracay it was my first time to go with the college crowd over summer. I got drunk, jumped a 50foot cliff and watched sunrise with a not-so-special someone. As “epic”as it was, I don’t think I’m going back any time soon, even for after graduation.
3. Ateneo Student Leaders Assembly Batch 10
This year I re-experienced ASLA as a student facilitator. I know now that one of my personal advocacy’s is leadership formation which is why I keep going back to this community. Unlike last year I cried on this trip because the experience was so moving.
This birthday was one for the books. Many unexpected things happened, like getting horribly wasted, throwing up in the boys bathroom and getting 20+ missed calls from my parents when I woke up the next morning. It wasn’t intentional. On a more wholesome note, I also got a birthday surprise from my orgmates.
A great escape with my best friends and learning how to surf!
TAKING RISKS / PIONEERING PROJECTS
I once heard that “It’s not just what you do. It’s what others will do after you. Given some of the things I personally started this year, I’m excited to see what could happen after it.
As Vice President for Projects, I treated this school year as my own personal playground for ideas. I introduced a lot of new changes including projects and policies to the department which have been both fulfilling and stressful. I spearheaded the very first Social Media Summit with notable speakers and media exposure like Maria Ressa and Yahoo! Philippines.
2. Thesis and internet radio
Radiocracy was my thesis with Job De Leon, fellow courtside reporter and NU 107 URock DJ. Even though it was stressful, it was cool to pilot the very first internet radio program in Ateneo. We had great music and awesome guests. Plus, it’s something that I love doing which makes all the work worth it.
Saying no to courtside reporting this year was a really difficult decision. There were many things to consider and lots of pressure from different people. But even if I do miss it and think about it from time to time, seeing how the year turned out, I have no regrets. This isn’t the end for me!
4. Switching from G! to Beyond Loyola
I switched from features to news in order to challenge and sharpen my writing style and to learn more about the world events that I like reading about. It’s a throwback to my Model United Nation days, making me realize that I can combine my interest in international relations with media.
1. Kippy passes away
Last February Kippy, my dog of 10 years, passed away. I was in my dorm when I got a call and I cried my eyes out for 2 days. It’s like breaking up with a boyfriend and losing a bestfriend at the same time.
I’ve always had a hard time letting new people into my life and allowing them to truly understand where I came from, especially boys. You were the first. If by some chance you do come across this, I hope that one day we can be friends. I know we can.
3. Pops gets sick
Not a lot of people know that my dad got really sick this year and I don’t think I’ve even explicitly stated it on my blog. Despite how much I disclose about my life on here, I am private on affairs that make me very emotional. He’s better now but facing that reality along with a pandora’s box of other problems was a wake up call to my priorities and how important my family is to me.
Some things I’ve learned to take to heart:
– There’s no right or wrong decision. Just a choice that is right for you.
– Jot down the things you want to remember and learn from (in your phone, notebook, twitter, etc)
– When in doubt, go in the direction of growth
– You don’t have to explain yourself
– You let go by loving, you love by letting go.
– Live honestly and treat people equally
– Trust others. Be open. Share your vision and ask for help
– There’s more to building a relationship than having good conversations. It’s okay to say that you want someone to take care of you. For the ones who truly care, you don’t even have to ask them to.
– My religion is rooted in kindness. I don’t necessarily need a God to be good to others.
PEOPLE, POLITICS AND PHILOSOPHY
I personally met a lot of inspiring and influential people this year like Anton Diaz and Maria Ressa. Mercato posted about my foodie entry, I got quoted on Yahoo! Philippines not once, but twice, and tweeted by influential people. I also had great teachers like Doc Garcia, Fr. Dacanay and Mark Escaler (not pictured.) This year I also read up a lot and wrote about politics and philosophy and started caring less about myself and more about the world around me.
FRIENDS AND FAMILY
To my real friends who are always constant in my life year end and year out, and to those who helped me get through some hard periods in my life, thank you. To surrounding yourself with people who will only lift you higher.
Here’s to my family who I’ve become more open with this year. From my love life, to their stories growing up and about politics and life, I’m glad I have parents who I can talk to, sisters who will always be there for me and a family I can come home to. I love you.
A WRITE YEAR
In no particular order, my top 10 favorite blog entries of the year:
Top 4 favorite articles I’ve written this year: