How to solve mundanity:
1. Be honest with yourself.
2. Have someone to be honest to.
3. Have something to look forward to.
5. Break the monotony. Do something different.
My OJT is finaly over and ‘Le Bum Life is back. But although my life is still in many ways mundane (sleep, eat, computer, repeat) the good news is that it feels A LOT less insane than it used to.
Unsurprisingly, honesty is what led me to truth about this whole mind/life-funking situation. All it took was was a mini-breakdown, an impulse email to my best friend overseas, a car conversation and family to make everything not necessarily better, but bearable.
Yeah, i should definitely break the habit of bottling everything inside. Even if you’re honest with yourself, it’s harder to be honest with other people, even to those select few whose hearts are genuinely with you. I think it’s because it’s in my nature to consider all possible angles and confessions are terribly one sided.
Although I know that I’ve been distancing myself, it’s the kind of defense mechanism that only I can come out of in my own time. It’s that feeling of solitude even in the presence of others. As my aforementioned bestfriend replied back to me “I knew immediately that you wanted to be alone, to be left alone maybe and I respect that, that’s why I waited.” Luckily, I’m blessed that whenever I decide to climb out from my wallowing hole, there are people to give me their hand and put my feelings into the words that are difficult for me to say.
Anyways, after the long purging process of numbers 1-4, number 5 is there to replace the insanity with my favorite anti-depressant: spontaneity. Doing things differently and going to new places is what has kept me high this whole summer even during those times I was feeling low.
Check out the next post for what those things are!