The Donald and I

Duckface? Check. Bitch face? Check. All I have to do is dye my hair orange

I have a theory about the correlation between the past and alternate  career paths and it includes my childhood and Donald Trump. I believe that if we reminisce and take a closer look back, we might see symptoms of what could’ve been if that parallel universe was actually our future reality.

I might be late with this piece of news but around two weeks ago I heard that “The Donald” might run as the Republican candidate for U.S. presidency. Being the cunning king of THE business empire of capitalism and consumerism, he is undoubtedly an interesting, controversial and perhaps promising candidate. If he does win, my only hope is that his famous “You’re fired” won’t be the tagline for his foreign policy. Add that to his uncompromising winning attitude and iron first, there might not be anything left of the Middle East.

But asides from these pressing issues, the news reminded me of one that’s more personal. Can you believe that once upon a time, this man wearing his tailored suit and sporting that weird orange toupee-esque hairstyle and perpetual duckface expression was my idol?

Back then I was a wannabe business woman watching The Apprentice as religiously as wannabe models watch America’s Next Top Model. When I was 14 years old I always thought I was better than Omarosa and Bill and dreamed of one day going on the show proving that I could do what they were doing, but so much better.

I was convinced I had what my Pop’s would call “natural business sense” so  I actually read Robert Kiyosaki’s “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” on my own and took notes. I was determined not to be get caught in the rat race.

In elementary school I would sell the cookies I baked to family members and the decorated plastic cups turned mini trashcans for school desks to my classmates. In middle school I think I made more than 5k selling tshirts and bags to the small Reedley community. “The Hamburger” was my beloved piggy bank where I stored the notebook I used to write down my expenses in like the accountant I could never be now.

Fast forward so many years later and the thought of how to split the bill with a big group gives me a headache while balance sheets and investments bore me. From an apparent early desire for business to now taking a communications degree, what the hell happened? I don’t even remember ever reaching that fork in the road.

Well, who’s to say that I can’t mix both, right? That’s the beauty of business. You can apply it to anything. The trick is finding what that “anything” is, and luckily I found that somewhere in a career in the media.

As my childhood idol once said, “Sometimes your best investments are the ones you don’t make.” Perhaps without this non-investment I might have never discovered what makes any business worthwhile in the first place- something to be passionate about. I’ll worry about accounting later. Or better yet, hire someone to do it for me instead.


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