Every girl needs a bra for support. But sometimes when bros get in the way, it is possible for the clasp to get unhooked which is a no, no in the unspoken law of the bra. So to prevent any indecent exposure, we, Kinky Keena, Dirty Jerene and Spicy Rix bring you the BRA CODE – a set of friendly reminders to keep your bras… and everything else in place.
1. Bras before bros
The bond between two bras is stronger than the bond between a bro and a bra because, on average, bras are just better. That’s just common sense.
2. No swooping.
If a bra is romantically linked with the bro he is off limits. No ifs, ands or BUTTS
3. When a bra gets dumped, all her chicks are obligated to hate him
4. When a bra is having a crisis ie.her bro is being an ass, her bras must bring the ff: ice cream, chocolate, & a bottle of wine.
5. No homie hopping .
In a group of bro/bra friends, unless the bra has genuine intent, hookups are not allowed with more than two. If this happens, then the said bra should not feel offended if she’s called a slut.
6. The bitch law
In the event of an unwanted suitor a bra must give the cold shoulder for a span of at least 1 week. If clinger persists she must resort to drastic measures which may include coming off as a bitch. The bro had it coming. Tell it how it is bra!
7. You’re not allowed to have any kind of rendezvous with your brafriend’s ex-brofriend
Corollary: there’s a stipulated time frame. Half of however long they were together .
Aka DON’T BE A SLOPPY SECOND
8. Does size matter?
We say it’s not about the size of the wave but the motion of the ocean.*but really, it’s about the size.
9. A bra should try her best to hook up her brafriends with her older brothers.
Corollary: if they’re not hot, disregard this rule.
10. Never call your bro a dude unless you want to piss him off or put him in the friend zone
11. Every bra should have 1 gay friend
12. When it comes to height a bra must always be looking up not down
Corollary: unless something else is looking up at you.
13. When a fellow bra is in the presence of a douchebag, the wingbra should make every effort to take her away from said douchebag
14. In the event that the bra wants a boyfriend he must first seek the approval of the bras.
* Note bringing chocolates and wine will increase the bros chances
15. When checking out bros don’t get caught basket shopping.
16. Simultaneous dibs are allowed but once a dib is reciprocated the other bras are obligated to back off.
17. When a bra has a brofriend she makes said bro watch a chickflick with her. If not, dump his ass for not being man enough.
18. If a bra needs a night out all her bras are single for the night just as long as they don’t do anything promiscuous.
19.Bras should share everything except for their boyfriend
20.The most important rule is from one of the classiest bras of all time, Marilyn Monroe:
“I am good, but not an angel. But I do sin but I am not the devil. I’m just a small bra in a big world trying to find someone to love. “