Warmth on a cold Christmas morning

The reason death sticks so closely to life isn’t biological necessity – it’s envy. Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can. But life leaps over oblivion lightly, losing only a thing or two of no importance, and gloom is just the passing shadow of a cloud – Life of Pi

At age 19 death took Chris Capinpin away too suddenly. At age 18, his  death made his good friend Rica Facundo cry a little bit too uncontrollably. Then 2 years later on his 21st birthday his death reminds her of life – his life, especially the moments they shared together. And even though time has passed and will continue to as the years trudge on, her 20 year old self can’t help but cry still.

Chris, now that I’m older I’ve realized just how valuable real friends are, especially the old ones who I’ve shared growing pains with. It gets harder to invest in new relationships because they don’t reciprocate as easily or it’s just harder to open yourself to trust or find someone who can relate. Or, in my case, I’m just okay with being alone sometimes.

But as I visited your grave on Christmas day, and was reminiscing the history of our friendship, it struck me that it wasn’t the case for us. And if death was fairer to life and let you stay with me a little bit longer, then you’d be one of those people who could easily take me out of my cynical bubble of solitude. And without knowing that you do, you would remind me to have faith. Your genuine concern for the people that you love was always effortless.

In retrospect Chris’ warmth – that was always his effect on people. So, when that 20 year old girl visited the grave of her  21 year old friend, she could still feel it, even on this cold Christmas morning.

I miss you caps. Happy birthday.

I always camwhore with Chris, even when he was still alive. The wind at Heritage messed up my hair though and i look like crap here.

Chris always gets beautiful flowers. Last year some one left him a cupcake! I always give him a letter. I took a picture of it until i realized that you could see what i wrote so i’m not posting it here. It’s only for his eyes haha.

My prayers are always with you <3


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