I Wander Where You Are – A letter to my dreams

3o day letter challenge

Day 5: A letter to my dreams

Dear dreams,

You’re like your fluffy white counterpart in the sky. A constantly changing energy that’s shaped by the direction of the wind,  the other unseen forces of nature or both. But whatever your shape is, a dream is still a dream the same way a cloud is still a cloud. It’s made up of the same wonderful stuff that makes me look towards that horizon in the sky.

I definitely have a lot dreams, but sometimes they can be pretty fickle minded. One day I’m chasing one thing then the next day it’s something else. What’s frustrating is that I can never seem to make up my mind about what I want from you. There are just so many things I want to do. There are many areas I want to dabble in. Even with you  I have commitment issues.

I admire my friends around me who know exactly what they want to do and are well on their way of making those dreams a reality at such an early age. Sometimes it makes me feel bad because I continually struggle with my lack of focus. My teacher and mentor once told me that I have so much energy that I need to learn how to harness it because  it tends to make me scattered. Why can’t i just stick to achieving one dream?

That was until I realized I can’t force myself to be someone I’m not. I’m a holistic kind of person. Specialization is not my style because it bores me. My dreams change with every new thing I discover about the world and myself.

Back in high school I was seriously considering becoming a UN ambassador or diplomat. If I went to the US international relations is the course I wanted to major in. Now I find myself in communication spending the last 3 years dipping my toes in almost every form of media – journalism, radio and broadcasting.   I still have yet to discover if PR is my calling because i know advertising isn’t.

So, dreams, despite your constant shape shifting, I more or less have an idea of where you’re heading now and what I want from you. Of what form that will take I still have no definite answers. But the skills and experience I collect along the way will be my key to finally meeting you.

Hopefully though I’ll find you and your wonderful stuff floating all around the world. Because now my dream is to discover where you’ll take me.


The wanderering Rica


7 thoughts on “I Wander Where You Are – A letter to my dreams

  1. I consider myself a holistic person too. I too admire those of my friends who have defined the paths they wish to strive for. I’m sometimes envious of them for their sense of direction – only sometimes though. In my opinion, wandering aimlessly is the most rewarding way to lead one’s life. To have the open-mind and inquisitiveness to learn things from a wide range of subjects, to try and experience new things, to always inject life with a fresh jolt of novelty, and to continue stretching your abilities, perspectives, and world view is the only proper approach to appreciating the extent of your human potential and the beauty of the world (in my opinion). To specialize means to narrow the mind and to put out your eyes to the vastness of the world and your potential.
    The only times I feel pressure to specialize is when it comes to the subject of finding a job. Unfortunately, we live in a society that isn’t structured to be accommodating for holistic people, but those specialized to fill it’s needs. Landing a job is oftentimes a competition, and it’s a competition a specialized person will win at a greater rate than a holistic person. The specialized person may not be capable of being functional in diverse kinds of jobs like the holistic person, but will triumph when the mutually coveted object is admission into a occupation he/she spent his/her life training for.
    Other times I regret not specializing is when I’m jealous of somebody’s accomplishment that could have been my own if I only dedicated more time. But jealousy is just a petty emotion that only breeds self-dissatisfaction and distracts us from leading holistic lives. I once became very upset over not winning a song-writing competition, forgetting the superficiality and arbitrariness of the metrics used to judge the submissions. I’ve found that most metrics used to value people are this way, unless they are from within.
    My solution to the ambivalence I had over what to major in was resolved by my choosing to study international relations, the reason being that it’s as interdisciplinary as you can get: it’s a study that combines politics, history, economics, sociology, business, and regional studies – which branches into music, art, culture, languages, and more. I’d actually love to become a diplomat too. It’s one of those few occupations where being holistic enhances your ability to excel at the job: you’ll oftentimes be trying to build bridges with people from completely different walks of life so having diverse skills, experiences, interests, and knowledge will be great assets to have.
    Let me conclude by saying this: while the majority of people admire those who are “specialists”, I admire you for being holistic in the way you are. I’ve spoken to you, seen you perform songs live, seen you give intellectual presentations, debate, report, I’ve experienced your humor, kind nature, and genuineness, I’ve read a few of your blogs in which you’ve demonstrated how insightful and poetic you are… you’re a rich person and ought to be admired.
    it’s sad that holistic people such as yourself are often not positively reinforced as “specialists” are – opera singers by thunderous applause, track stars by shiny medals, science nerds by grants, etc…

    Do you think your holistic nature has something to do with your inability to find romance? :p

    • Hi,

      It’s you again haha. Thanks for your insight and kind words! Yes, I’ve learned how to embrace my “holisticness.” Over the years I’ve seen it’s benefits as well as its disadvantages. But at the end of the day I think that’s what enables me to live my life with a sense of wonder. :)

      Hahaha to your PS. I could answer you but you have to tell me who you are first. I guess you’re not as anonymous as i thought you were. We were classmates before?

      • I guess you could call us old classmates: we went to the same high school – but that’s about where our relations end. we’ve never shared a personal – or even impersonal – relationship, nor have we had any lines of communication (in person) or acknowledgments for each others existence that wasn’t brief and insignificant; what’s more, we don’t know the same people (at least not anymore) and are likely to never cross paths. with that said, the name under which I’m writing you is quite appropriate, since we are practically anonymous to one another.

        you can choose not to answer my question. when asking it to you, I was more concerned with it stimulating self-reflection than satisfying my own curiosity.

  2. We are not practically anonymous to each other because you know who I am and yet I don’t know who you are. So that anonymity is pretty one sided.

    So, you’re my batch mate? From MUN? If you don’t mind me asking if we’re not “friends” then how’d you find my blog? Haha

  3. I “know” you only by the projection you’ve created of yourself on this blog, which means that what little I know of you is on a superficial level, thereby making you, in a practical sense, anonymous to me.
    is knowing me just as the anonymous guy who stops by your blog every now and then so hard? haha
    how did I find your blog? I don’t suppose you can sincerely say that you are close friends with all 1857 people on facebook?

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