20 certainties about dating at 20

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about dating lately. No, I am not currently involved and I’m as single as when I joined the S.S.B club 20 years ago. But it has been two decades and it’s interesting to see how much I’ve learned since it was once completely uncharted territory.

I’m not claiming to be an expert nor have I dated countless of guys so it doesn’t matter whether people agree or not. But from my experience this is what I’m certain of, at least for now. And once the bills have been paid and good night kisses have been exchanged, the things we “know” is really the only thing we can count on which of course will change over time as i hopefully become a bit wiser.

So here are the 20 things i’m certain of about dating at 20 in no particular order:

1. Past flings aside, a little less conversation, a little more action please is not the tune my love life plays to now. Although I do think it’s something you have to get out of your system.

2. The best way to prepare for a date is to not think it’s a date.

3. No matter how nice the place is or how good the food is conversation makes or break a date.

4. You go on a date to get to know someone and to see whether you like them or not. You should not judge them or make that decision beforehand.

5. Dating different guys (or girls) makes you discover more about yourself.

6. If you’re unsure whether it’s a date or just a hang out, when a guy treats it’s a pretty good indicator that it is.

7. But it’s better not to assume and by all means still make that gesture to pay! Minus points for the girl if she doesn’t.

8. Sometimes dating is taken too seriously. Relax and have fun!

9. It’s hard to stack up against Mr. Hypothetical. It’s okay if your conclusion doesn’t fit.

10. No matter how much you can click intellectually or emotionally, if there’s no physical attraction then everything else tends to become invalid.

11. I dub this the SB (some boy) effect which in my experience is rare. It’s that some boy who annoyingly has an effect on you and  you can’t explain why. When it happens I think you should make the most out of it.

12.  You may think that there’s no more fish in the sea but all you really have to do is fish in an entirely different ocean. It may seem impossible but that’s because it’s sometimes geographically difficult to look elsewhere.

13. As my good friend Kevin Mayuga says “The first date is like an interview. Don’t take her to the movies.”

14. Ultimately all guys want action. It’s something they keep at the back of their head throughout the development of the relationship. Now before all you guys start calling me a feminist, wait. It’s everything else that makes a guy pursue a girl and puts that drive on hold.

15. There’s a difference between being aggressive and straightforward. I personally prefer the latter because it’s the guys who play games that tends to make everyone lose.

16. If a guy suggests coffee for a first date, then plus points!

17. Intellectual turn ons are sexy.

18. It’s the guys who I learn from and enable me to grow that tend to stick around.

19. As long as you’re both having fun and no one’s getting hurt then there’s no reason to stop whatever it is you’re doing.

20. And of course, last but not least… Don’t settle. Know your worth.

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